Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Why is Taylor Swift re-recording her albums?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I actually pay taxes

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Is there an MBTI personality that is more or less likely to handle stress?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

How did you know you weren't the narc?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Is it sinful for Christians to look at beautiful women?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for fakery

What symptoms did you notice before being diagnosed with cancer?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have a reading level above third grade

What is the worst emotional pain you ever felt as an adult?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

As a friend of Megan's who also watches Suits, would you advise her not to return to the show in order to protect her character's reputation?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

This moon in the solar system continues to surprise scientists with the discovery of alternating water forms on its surface. - Farmingdale Observer

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I can read

Can you share some of your favorite jokes that are not well-known but always make people laugh?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

How do I identify fake friends in life?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I Thought My Husband Had a Good Reason to Avoid Sex. Then I Saw Something I Wish I Hadn’t. - Slate Magazine

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

What was your best revenge story?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

How would you describe modern day Russian society, beyond just politics?

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Is there a stereotype that South Indians are physically strong and muscular compared to other regions of India?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I see through liars

I can count

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know who the president of Turkey really is